Crossing

October 30, 2013

When you’re in the middle of transition all you know is what you had to go through to get there and what you’re going through in the present. It’s not a big deal, honestly; your perspective is only momentarily stalled and then shifted when the immediate future arrives and the “crossing” has been “crossed.” Final destination arrived.

When the layover is, however, much longer, whether you anticipated the length or not, one begins to focus on the here and now. The destination is either forgotten or confused while you become increasingly disoriented by skepticism and fear. Thank God He knows what He’s doing because this transition time is hecka long but He hasn’t let go of my hand in the thick of it so I doubt He’ll let go now in the calm.

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Contradictions

October 21, 2013

I have come to realize that parts of me are like book ends at odds with each other. The books in between still sit shoulder to shoulder, their spines upright with an almost regal air. But when your eyes have wandered over the entire length of the collection, you will notice that one end is not like the other. They are two very distinct figures of different sizes, colors, and even materials. One might speculate there was a mistake when they were packaged and some other unfortunate book-lover ended up with counterparts of your figures. Or perhaps this was how they were meant to come?

Most of us young adults, if we are honest with ourselves, do not know what to do with these book ends. Do we keep using them; they are serving their purpose after all. But what about aestheticism? What would people think should they see them perched there, not at all agreeing with each other? It’s not as though I am proud to display this defective “pair” so perhaps I should take them down and replace them?

We are at odds with the fierce passions of the soul of our souls and the monochromatic reality that seems to separate desire from responsibility. Right brain or left brain, but never both.

What if between the mismatched ends are what matters? The books. Is it not the books that you have read and learned to appreciate and cherish that are most important? What I’m asking is what if within the pages of the texts, novels, pamphlets, and atlases you have accrued somehow link one with the other, tying the riotous palette with rigid reality? Left brain with right brain.

The question is this: Do the things we must learn and the things we choose to learn together give an explanation for the seemingly uncoordinated, irrelevant, and unyielding, uncompromising pillars of our persona? I want to connect the dots between what I know is a God-given passion and a self-discovered choice.

Dear You,

October 14, 2013

I’m going to be honest, so please, let me be, even if it is currently 2:31 AM. I find no better time than now, so here you are:

People don’t keep in touch like this unless they intend to meet again, and sir, the sunshine state is a ways away from here. I believe I will be visiting sometime, though, but you actually don’t know that because it has nothing to do with you (and frankly I don’t see you caring one way or another). Keep running and ask for more from the Lord. He wants to bestow more wisdom and anoint you with gifts from His Spirit. Know that you are covered in prayer. Be the light you keep encouraging me to be. You do not need to know if or how I pray for you but you do need to know that I am very well aware of the pressures of society and the Korean community placed on you simply because of your age. Be ever vigilant with your heart so that it does not wander and I will continue to be your digital friend. I just want you to know that you are the one holding the reins.

Adieu,

M