Thought Catalog

1. Inevitably, you move to different states, go to different schools, and sometimes lose touch. But when you return, you’re still as weird and dysfunctional as ever before.

2. You don’t even need to get to the punchline anymore, they’re already laughing.

3. You become friends with their parents too, seeing as they’ve all but adopted you at this point. It’s not uncommon to receive texts from them on the reg.

4. You really do start acting like an old married couple. You’re not afraid to bicker, and honestly, you’re probably too attached to each other to stay mad for long.

5. Personal space has no bearing on you. Boundaries have completely dissolved into the “it’s 2 a.m. I’m miserable and getting into bed with you deal with it” abyss.

6. You get comfortable with silence, arguably the most awesome aspect of any relationship. You can go on trips together or…

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December 9, 2013

When your body is being overrun by an infection you might be wondering what your immune system is doing. Well let me explain.

Your first line of defense is called the innate immunity. It takes only a couple hours after exposure for them to mount their attack. But sometimes this complex system is overwhelmed because the viral or bacterial load may be too much and the rate the reinforcements are coming isn’t fast enough. Then it’s your second line, called the adaptive immunity. These guys take a couple days, but once they launch their campaigns the carnage is real and hopefully the invaders have been cleared.

Anger works a lot like this. The exception is there is only one wall, one defense, and really one choice. When your heart is at war with an anger that threatens to invade and overwhelm it you need to decide whether being right is more important or if you’d rather keep them as a friend. If there is more compassion, more love, then there is no way anger can compete with that. It would be a couple virion against a legion of cytokines, lymphocytes, and macrophages. No. Love would leave no room for such thoughts or feelings.

But if there seems to be an impasse, and there is no more reasoning, remember your body can resort to a mechanism called cellular altruism, where infected cells will commit a sort of suicide to save the rest of the body. So retreat, and leave him or her be. You tried and now it’s time to tend to the places he or she has wounded you. Using love to fight anger is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, and it does deal a huge blow to my pride. It feels like coming up against a halberd with a butter knife,

but I know I know I know in the end she will see this schema and eventually that will become an infection of its own, not because I am righteous and above this but because He who inspires me to walk through this allows me to see the parted sea instead of the mud in between my toes.

Hindsight Too Late

December 7, 2013

The raucous chatter echoes up to my spacious room, where I sit with my mug of grapefruit juice under the Christmas lights strung on the walls. My housemate is hosting a small reunion with our neighbors to welcome the coming of an alum. They are all music majors and so have a friendship forged by music, a sort of connection that many may never feel or understand in this lifetime. I do not join the festivities because as much as I would love to chat with them, I feel like a parent must feel when her daughter’s friends have come for a slumber party. Unnecessary and a irrelevant. I say this with no bitterness at all; it is merely a statement of fact. 

Heh. Even now I hear his strident voice, carrying up the chiding tone with it. I sincerely love him and wish I could hear what he was to say. He’s one of those charismatic types, you know, who take it upon themselves to care for the younger ones as a mother hen fiercely protects her brood. 

I was tempted to resign to my sardonic attitude in the depths and dark of my isolated room. “I’m gonna tell them to be quiet if they scream again.” Along those lines. But a moment of clarity, by the grace of God.

I forget so often that this is what college is about. It’s screeching excitedly before you tell your girls some exciting news, and them squealing along with you. It’s the late night conversations over whatever food you decide to overdose on. It’s connecting. It’s being human and indulging in each other’s company. And I wish I wish I wish I could have my closest friends to do that with too. One is hosting as we speak, one is back at home resting after a hard day’s work in DC, and the other is also back at home perhaps resting or meeting old friends. College is community. 

Thought Catalog

1. Apartment living robs you. Renting a small house with the girls is the way to go.

2. Wine > vodka.

3. Leggings = life made.

4. Roommates are great to try recipes out on.

5. Disney movies will never get old.

6. Cheaters are not worth it.

7. Go the speed limit. Tickets are the worst.

8. Sometimes all you need is ice-cream or pizza.

9. Your friends were there for you before the boyfriend.

10. Tell your family you love them as much as possible.

11. Drinking & driving is not worth it.

12. Mexican hole-in-the-wall restaurants have the best margaritas.

13. You’ll fail a couple of times. It’s okay, I promise.

14. If you need help with money, ask, don’t continue to struggle.

15. Not everyone is going to like you.

16. Men’s razors work better.

17. Vote, but know exactly what you’re voting for.

18. When…

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December 2, 2013

The problem with giving relationship advice is that sometimes people don’t listen. They’ll nod their heads not because they agree but simply as a means to press an invisible fast-forward button with their chins. One of my closest friends, whom I have lived with for these three years in college, has ever been my partner in this volley match. Oh, how she has grown and buds in the light of the Lord. You would not recognize her if the last you saw of her was in her tassel and gown, I swear. 

But tonight there is a problem and I am exasperated. Lord, would you captivate ALL her attention. She forgets that there has been so little time that has passed between the last boy and this next one; are you not jealous for her time? I know it is a choice we must make for ourselves but sometimes we forget the most important things. So, Lord, I ask You to send your Spirit to her so that she would remember how she means to give herself a break and give You a chance. God, I ask for clarity for her, to see this situation clearly and with kingdom perspective. The rationalizing with spirituality has gone very far, and maybe there is truth in it, but the truth I see is that You desperately desire her to put down the distraction You’ve planted to come running to You. To consciously choose You. Just as invested as she is in the boy am I in her, so You understand where my heart is. I’m tired tonight. But You never tire. So Lord, just have Your way. In my heart, in her heart, and in his heart. Amen.